Friday and Saturday.

     Every day my sister would call me and ask when I was coming home.  How the Hell did I know.  The patient is always the last to know, trust me on this.  I had a new visitor.
     A short woman from the patients advocate came in to see me.  Wanted to know when I was leaving and such, I told her what I just told you.  She then berated me.  On how was she supposed to help me with nursing care if I didn't know when I was being released. She may have even called me uncooperative.
     I was glad when she left.  Took a walk, that's when I saw the original woman from physical therapy, for the final time.  She just wanted to see how I was walking and missed much of it because she was conversing with some guy.  I was ready to depart.
     Saturday arrived and I was told I would be leaving today.  My reaction was shock.  They certainly didn't believe in giving much notice.  I called my sister to give her the good news.  Some bullshit argument.  She wasn't going to come and would send my brother in law.  No worries in the end she came you'll see.
     It was Saturday July 2nd 2011.  It's important for the upcoming event.  I noticed 2 woman sitting in the office of the patient advocate right across from my room.  Being proactive I walked over and explained I was going home today.  The blinked at me.  I wanted to know what they needed from me to ensure I'd have a visiting nurse.  Blink.  Not once did they ask my name, not once did they look at their computers. 
     They assured me that one would call me Sunday when I got home.  I said thank you and walked straight to my bathroom to see if STUPID was scrawled upon my forehead.  Ordinarily I might have bought it.  However, Sunday July 3rd, a 3 day freaking weekend, I knew no one would be setting up jack shit.
     I was concerned, because I knew that for the majority of my time at home I'd be alone.  Brother in law and sister worked.  What if I fell, ran a temperature, or got an infection, I was concerned and waited.
     At some point another Dr. came in and removed the final staples from my chest and I was asked if a ride was coming for me.  I said yes.  Lo and behold the dynamic duo arrived.  With 2 cheese danishes that I'd called and asked for I might add.
     A nurse came in to discuss my discharge and the medications I was to be taking.  They gave me privacy.  When she came to the Oxycontin, unsure of spelling, I stopped her.  There had been a pharmacy shooting in a town I frequent, where a guy and girl went, he went in stole the oxy's and they left.  They caught the duo.
     I simply asked her to write void on it and tear it up in front of me.  I was having no part of that, I was Tylenol all the way. 
     All set we departed.  It was a brutal summer, I'd seen that from the few weather reports and from talking to nurses on shifts.  It'd be a drive home, windows closed and air conditioning.  My brother in law pushed my sister, the nurse pushed me.  I got settled into the back seat said my goodbyes.  They settled into the car.  Before we even moved, they both lit up cigarettes.  Long ride home.
     Exhausted and glad to be home I laid down.  At some point I'd gotten up to see what there was to eat.  They'd ordered in from an Italian restaurant.  On the counter for me on a plate was a cold breaded chicken piece along with some cheese filled rigatoni noodles.  Yup fend for myself indeed.